Author Topic: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?  (Read 1460 times)

Offline littlewest

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Hello everyone!
It's been so freaking long since I've been on here and life has really changed from the days where I just got to live on forums. I'm not sure where to turn to and hope the wide range of Villagers could offer advice.

Here is the Dilemma :
I started seeing this woman I met through work. She was the office manager for a CPA firm my Company did I.T. work for. She is fairly successful and has a lot of experience in office management, but almost nothing to do with Taxes or other accounting affairs. (she had learned a lot however since being there.) Her Employer was pregnant, Hormonal, and Very intrusive w/ no boundaries. Many illegal things were done to her (refused to be paid for worked days and secret cameras pointed at her desk.)

Her most recent EX (DUDE #1) (lives local) is not very smart or educated. He makes 6 figures a year but it's a labor intensive job. He seems bi-polar and is very abusive/ manipulative in his actions. He calls all the time and tries to talk via text messages. The Finale of them was that he waited until her lease expired and was on his doorstep to tell her he wanted to move onto someone else. as another example of his Character, he forced her out of his vehicle (it was stopped at the time) in the middle of Gainesville, then went back to her apartment and stole her mom's steam cleaner, and drove back by her making her walk 5+ miles in the dark, in downtown Gainesville. also worth mentioning he has a restraining order against him from his first wife (who he has a daughter by) for stalking. He has driven 2+ hours to drop a letter off at her mother's house after she explicitly told him not to. He also tries to use his (~8 years old) daughter as a means to contact her, by having her try to call her. His daughter is in custody of his ex-wife across the country. he doesn't really have anything to do with his daughter. He also tried to reach out to her OLD EXes for no apparent reason when they were together.
My advice was to block his number, but because of his tendencies to show up unannounced and unwanted, she wanted to have any evidence if needed to help in getting a restraining order.

Another Abusive EX (DUDE #2) (long time relationship not local) she had stayed in contact with because of financials. (loans with both names present). HE had been known to fuck with her in extreme ways, also seeming Bi-polar. Trying to get in her pants(wanting to drive to her from 5+ hours away) and take her to court the next. I'm not certain of his exact IT knowledge, but also know he made a SHIT TON of money. His job had to do with the coding in credit card processing for a pornography website and potentially others. There is no reason per se for her to have contact with him but in the same manner, she wanted evidence against him if need be.

FUCKED UP PART I NEED ADVICE WITH :
We agreed it was time to finally completely block these people out of her life, and with uncanny timing, she starting getting calls (answered one of them and got blank air and about 2 deep heavy breathes before we hung up) and texts from unknown numbers (started with 850 /different numbers on different occasions.). Neither of the above people knew anything of us deciding to block them. Both of them sent her messages w/ screenshots of messages from the same number that was calling and texting her. The texts involved Risque/ home-taken pornographic photos of her. The men had been texted these photos with text such as "remember me? we should talk" as well as them receiving (they sent over screenshots) of calls from her number, which her call log shows she did not make.

Some of the pictures She had on her phone/laptop (APPLE devices) which don't show any evidence of being hacked. She has since changed her passwords on all of her accounts, after finding she has lost all of her emails to an OLD yahoo account, that was hacked in early 2019. I know this because I checked all of her accounts on https://haveibeenpwned.com/ . There may have been a few pics in that email account.

Other Pictures are screenshots that she knows Dude #1 had because he had sent them to her before. exact same pic. only pic that has shown her face thus far. most of her (private mind you) risque pics don't contain her face, but she has a lower back tatoo that proves to be her. He denied any involvement after she accused him because of the screenshot.
Dude #1 claimed he got calls after the texts and answered, and (his words) they couldn't answer personal questions but knew info about her like "the fact that she was an accountant" (worth mentioning she wasn't an accountant but an office manager/ he doesn't know she was fired)

Another Pic Dude #2 would have taken, because she wouldn't have taken that pic, and DUDE #2 is inside of her in the pic.

This morning she received another risque picture of her and a screenshot of some info about her vehicle. had the wrong location but right name and VIN# and model.

There isn't a call to action in any of this. It isn't ransoming the Pics for money, no threats or anything like that. But it is creepy AF, and abusive. her mother got a phone call on her landline, that rang in as the very number of the landline. (does that make sense)? As if the landline called itself. she didn't answer.

Even if we change her number and attempt to update all of her contacts on her new info, Several huge concerns have put tears in her eyes and fear into her heart.

•the threat of not knowing what those Exes could do is almost unbearable Although she isn't sure she has ENOUGH against them as restraining orders seem to be based around physical harm (weapons and such) (DUDE #1 having a previous restraining order does help).

•taking them to court to get a restraining order and the effects that would come after, especially if they would say she doesn't have enough evidence. Not to mention the stress of seeing these people during.

•the biggest fear is those photos and messages being sent to people like friends she doesn't talk to all the time but mean a lot, or WORSE: HER  DAD.

How can we stop this? Find who is responsible? Make her feel safe again?

I tried to reverse look up the first number, and only found it was an AT T number registered to a tiny town north of Panama.
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Offline k7

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2019, 11:13:26 AM »
i know what i would do, but i'm not typing that.

police won't help her. and fighting her fights with exes with issues won't help you.  a restraining order won't help her with what's going on here. revenge porn is a weird legal slope.

my advice to you? don't be the 3rd guy...sounds harsh...but she has this going on with at least 2 exes.

i had a girlfriend with an ex gang member boyfriend. got jumped once (i did well, told a cop to go f@@k himself because he ran up AFTER the fight), another fight, and gun play on US1. :P

girl wasn't worth the headache. nothing helpful. just crap you learn thru life.

your girl sent the pics. her bad. change her phone number. guy will stalk someone else. just looking for interaction and fear. don't give it to him.

who cares if her dad gets bad pics? he's seen her naked. now there's another party that will want to off the guy. ;D

and i still say, find another girl. draaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
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Offline mcluvin

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2019, 11:24:33 AM »
I have a niece who experiences something similar.  Once it escalated to slashed tires and physical assaults against her and current boyfriend(s) she was able to get a restraining order.  She carries a gun now.  Most guys don't want to deal with that baggage.  You are a good person for trying to help her.

Good luck!

Offline Sid

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2019, 11:50:17 AM »
i know what i would do, but i'm not typing that.

police won't help her. and fighting her fights with exes with issues won't help you.  a restraining order won't help her with what's going on here. revenge porn is a weird legal slope.

my advice to you? don't be the 3rd guy...sounds harsh...but she has this going on with at least 2 exes.

i had a girlfriend with an ex gang member boyfriend. got jumped once (i did well, told a cop to go f@@k himself because he ran up AFTER the fight), another fight, and gun play on US1. :P

girl wasn't worth the headache. nothing helpful. just crap you learn thru life.

your girl sent the pics. her bad. change her phone number. guy will stalk someone else. just looking for interaction and fear. don't give it to him.

who cares if her dad gets bad pics? he's seen her naked. now there's another party that will want to off the guy. ;D

and i still say, find another girl. draaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I agree with K7.  Find another girl and move on.  Has she sent you nudes?  Can you share?  8)
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Offline Sid

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2019, 12:05:14 PM »
I just read through it again to be sure that I read it correctly.

Are you familiar with the term "cut and run"?
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Offline littlewest

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2019, 12:16:40 PM »
i know what i would do, but i'm not typing that.
Ditto. but the problem is, I have nothing solid against anyone.

Further information about the girl :
She is gorgeous (used to be a dancer[ballerina type shit/ not stripping]) and brilliant. She has a dual bachelors in criminal justice studies and legal studies.
And the biggest heart out of any female I've encountered.

I had thought about moving on, but It doesn't feel right to me. I don't want to move on, and I am certainly not one to feel cowardice. I couldn't do that to her in her current situation, and furthermore, I'm not afraid of her Exes. She has a pistol she keeps at home and plans on getting her concealed. I already have mine.


your girl sent the pics. her bad. change her phone number. guy will stalk someone else. just looking for interaction and fear. don't give it to him.

This is sound advice and what I had suggested to her already. Good to know I make sense. certainly re-assuring. Also, to maybe re-assure her tell her close family or anyone in particular to block said numbers.

I presume we are in agreement that is most certainly an EX, if not both.

Is there any way to try and get more information on the phone / or possibly data from the screenshots that could help me figure out who is responsible?
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Offline k7

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2019, 12:44:54 PM »
Ditto. but the problem is, I have nothing solid against anyone.

Further information about the girl :
She is gorgeous (used to be a dancer[ballerina type shit/ not stripping]) and brilliant. She has a dual bachelors in criminal justice studies and legal studies.
And the biggest heart out of any female I've encountered.

I had thought about moving on, but It doesn't feel right to me. I don't want to move on, and I am certainly not one to feel cowardice. I couldn't do that to her in her current situation, and furthermore, I'm not afraid of her Exes. She has a pistol she keeps at home and plans on getting her concealed. I already have mine.
This is sound advice and what I had suggested to her already. Good to know I make sense. certainly re-assuring. Also, to maybe re-assure her tell her close family or anyone in particular to block said numbers.

I presume we are in agreement that is most certainly an EX, if not both.

Is there any way to try and get more information on the phone / or possibly data from the screenshots that could help me figure out who is responsible?

might be an Ex. might be a hacker looking for cash. who knows? i've seen both (customer issues).

i can get you a number of nudes of people who've been hacked via iCloud alone. reddit survives on stories like yours.  you might crack a phone number. you won't get any info from pics, unless
you have court orders and the pics are hosted on a website. even then...good luck. i give you a .025% chance.

and the law in your town probably has 10,000 open cases right now...just like yours.

she might be the smartest girl in the yard. but she also had a "type". just giving you what i think. i've been there with exes. ;D

actually, my wife has a type. i'm 1/2 of that type. but i was smarter than her normal. :P

no girl is worth the jail time. and i was damm close. it's just my advice. you can stay with her. but that's not your baggage.

carrying a gun is great. enjoy the 20 years locked up...for what isn't even your baggage. that's how i thought it through.

but an empty arcade cabinet in a loxahatchee drainage canal makes a great hiding spot for a body. just thinking out loud.
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Offline Sid

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2019, 12:53:22 PM »
Why can't a woman with dual bachelors in criminal justice studies and legal studies figure out a legal way of getting this handled?

...and you're already thinking about having to shoot someone?
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Offline littlewest

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2019, 01:16:02 PM »
Why can't a woman with dual bachelors in criminal justice studies and legal studies figure out a legal way of getting this handled?

You can only go after someone if you have evidence. I don't think the "unknown number" would just show up in court with a text message reply to do so. She doesn't want to communicate with either of those Guys in person or phone. she doesn't think she could handle the stress of court. I don't know that anything good could really come of a court case, to be honest. more issues for psychos, instead of them just moving on.

...and you're already thinking about having to shoot someone?
NO, not necessarily. I actually don't carry a firearm but feel l wish I had in several situations. her Ex has 16 inches of height and ~150 of muscle on me. I'm not wrestling him.

just a response to
She carries a gun now.
I got my concealed about a year ago because we keep guns when money running on arcade routes. Not to mention the literal death threats I've gotten from meth heads in this shit-ass little town. I'm not seeking revenge or wanting to kill anyone (I'd rather break their legs if we're honest).

The gun is for protection, not vigilante justice.
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Offline Mamushka

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2019, 01:32:50 PM »
Is a "victim" at work
Tramp stamp
Multiple jerk ex boyfriends
Takes and keeps nude photos of herself on her phone

Being honest here, you have a problem spotting trouble/crazy. There will always be problems/drama with this one.

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Offline FUNWIZ

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2019, 01:36:42 PM »
Turn off the cloud, don’t post anything online again. Both of you if you wish to stay together, will need to relocate out of that area, cut and change jobs, cut ties, and completely change everything about your way of life, phone numbers, contacts to a minimum, leave it all behind.  GL
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Offline mcluvin

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2019, 01:41:08 PM »

no girl is worth the jail time. and i was damm close. it's just my advice. you can stay with her. but that's not your baggage.

carrying a gun is great. enjoy the 20 years locked up...for what isn't even your baggage. that's how i thought it through.


Just because you have a gun doesn't guarantee success in an altercation either.   Or how about a potential felony on your record because one side had witnesses and the other didn't.  Good luck finding a real job with one of those.  Life ain't always fair.  You ain't gonna talk sense into a young guy in love though.  My niece finds good guys every now and then.  They don't stick around long.  She mostly finds the bad ones though.  They stick around a lot longer.

Offline k7

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2019, 01:45:04 PM »
Just because you have a gun doesn't guarantee success in an altercation either.   Or how about a potential felony on your record because one side had witnesses and the other didn't.  Good luck finding a real job with one of those.  Life ain't always fair.  You ain't gonna talk sense into a young guy in love though.  My niece finds good guys every now and then.  They don't stick around long.  She mostly finds the bad ones though.  They stick around a lot longer.

a sane mind cuts the crazies loose.

but some of those crazies...man, they are fun. :P

for littlewest...."we should be in an open relationship" are the words i would use. have your fun with her...not her issues.

all chicks eventually turn 30. don't commit to 1 younger than that. age wise, or mentality dating wise. 8)

and again @ littlewest...you'll be thru 5 more before you commit to the lifetime of marriage hell...tee hee.
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Offline tufnel1530

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2019, 04:42:24 PM »
From someone who has been cursed with a few drama queens (redheads, burlesque dancers etc  :P)

my advice is pretty simple.. fucking run away fast as you can.

seriously. do it now and dont look back.

As bad as you think it is i can promise it is far worse then you know and its only going to snowball.  :P

Offline Patrick_O

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Re: My Girlfriend is being harassed by mystery person(s). advice?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2019, 09:17:00 PM »
Run, run, run.

You summed her up by how good looking she was!  No offense, I have no idea how you look, but is she out of your league?  If so maybe you are being strung here?

Look at every angle and exercise skepticism.


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